It Should Have Been Me

For years I wandered in ignorance, not knowing what was considered the truth,
For a season I searched the world in vain, the existence of God, where was the proof?
For the world is a breeding ground for anguish, surely God could not be so blind,
To allow evil to prosper effortlessly, when the good are crushed beneath the grind.

I walked away from my religion, with all its sanctimonious better than thou,
It did nothing to relieve my fears and doubts, as I walked in the here and now;
Besides the world constantly reminded me, if it feels good do it, itís all about me,
And after years of chasing that illusion, I discovered I still was not really free.

Then one day as I stood on a balcony, looking around at a life avoiding despair,
I saw a small church across the way, its sign declaring "God is still out there";
Perhaps one more chance to find an answer, a last effort to ease the endless pain,
At this point in my life there was nothing to lose, and perhaps something to gain.

It was years before I understood, that everything I had done was to bring me near,
A place of such brokenness I could only go, where He could wipe away each tear;
I learned of His mercy and grace, of a world not created by Him, but by my sin,
And that more than anything He loved me and wanted to give me peace within.

I found that God did not turn away from the world, it was the world that turned,
But the greatest thing I found daily reading his Word, the fondest thing I learned;
The proof of God was there in sight all along, when my eyes were opened to see,
That my God would take my sin to the cross, when in truth, it should have been me.

Fox

©August 2012 (revised 2014)