Broken Promises

Recently I woke up and started crying, for no apparent cause,
    Something didn't feel quite right, and made me stop and pause;
    A feeling of complete and terrible loneliness, had crept into my chest,
    That up until this moment, being possible, I never would have guessed.

Eyes of fiery passion, that haunted the dream that I had dreamed,
    As well as a smile of pure radiance, hiding an angel's face it seemed;
    But upon waking with the dawn, I still knew not the reason why,
    That I should arise at this break of day, and suddenly start to cry.

Dreams have been dreamt before, why did this one cause such pain,
    To give such an empty feeling, and make the tears to fall like rain;
    Who could have such a hold over me, as to make me feel this sad,
    To experience the worse feeling of being alone, that I have ever had.

Feelings of unrequited desires, weighing heavily upon my heart,
    Like a wall standing between this person and I, keeping us held apart;
    But who is this someone in the dream, who is it I feel that I have lost?
    Who has caused this immense sorrow, that weeping has become the cost?

Light slowly seeps through the window, bringing with it the new day,
    I struggle for the answer to whom, as I wipe the last of the tears away;
    Who would have such an effect on me, to make me feel so strangely low?
    Whose absence could trouble my dreams, I need so very much to know.

All at once it is crystal clear, who has hindered me in my sleep,
    Someone as close as family, and still has so many promises to keep;
    That I fear until they can be fulfilled, I will not find any inner peace,
    As my heart remains shattered, and my grief continues to increase.

Moreover I realized it was that hug I needed, to collect on a promise due,
    That made me feel I'd been abandoned, even though I knew it wasn't true;
    At the time it felt very much that way, and it deeply chilled me to the bone,
    To have given so much of myself for her, to be left standing, at midnight, alone.

Eventually, the hurt will heal, and we will find what is no longer there,
    And she will realize the pain she caused, to one who did nothing more than care;
    To understand how much she means to me, a part of what makes me be whole,
    For without her presence in my life, there resides a great emptiness in my soul.

Fox

© January 2002